The past few days have been somewhat staggering in emotions. Up and down the ladder. Though it seems
I am on a down spiral at the moment. Family members do not seem to understand me nor do they try. Judgmental on there parts.
I am a book in my eyes. I have a cover, yet it is pretty so I think. I do my best to help others in their own
trials of life so that mine will not seem so hard. Each has their own trials to go through. I cry from the depths of my heart in my closet, so as not to burden any one.
No one wants to hear my mere little dramas with all that is going on in the world, mine are but very small. But are they? I have lost a lot. They do not try and find out what they are. Do my tears turn to blood when I am at deaths door? I think they do. My wings have been plucked so they can pour vinegar on it and watch my pain.
How I wish some times I could crawl out of my own hole I make for myself, but I do not. Save myself somewhat. Who will hear my cry's I say? No one, no one will hear, which is sad. Have you ever heard the real pain of a sad cry ? Someone in real sorrow from there soul? I have. I have many times. It over takes you, crying deep within your soul, to depths of your heart, till it reaches your feet. At that moment you are dieing so I think. Many times you can die. any never really know it, if your not in tune with what is going on except for your own desperation.
I am a book you see. I have many pages. Yet they do see what is inside. Rather burn it than read it. Even
in this book, it have many feelings. Passions,concerns,adventure,death,birth, and rebirths. Will they whom I know, understand me or be willing to understand? They stand in a corner with their fingers pointed and cut you off like your a piece of rag. I love with a pure heart when I am in their service. Am I the women who is to be stoned for not doing as they like? I serve my God as much as they. A modern day warrior. Not all prim and proper as they, but still serve with a full heart. Still have what it takes to follow the right road, but if i should stray off, they will not help? they spit. Is that love? No I think not. Many people have their own demons to face each day. Whether it be with in themselves or what mother earth throws in there paths.
So today I shall cry yet again . The pain being deep. But tomorrow is yet another day. One as for today I do not look forward too tomorrow at all.
The sun will shine as usual, and the birds will chirp. Maybe I can find hope and faith yet again to go on, so that I may forget about yesterday. My tears will dry up and leave salt residue in the corners of my eyes till I can wash my face. Or maybe I can dream and never wake up till I reach the astro-projected universe in the clouds of spirituality. Till then I shall breath slow and have lots of tissues beside my bed and hug my special lion someone gave to me like forever, because it makes me feel better somewhat.
May your day begin and end with a smile. And the sun shine in your face to make your day seem brighter. And may someone see you inside the book that you are and read you and have compassion and love you just the same, just because.
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